Episode 1: Self- Reflection

The phrase “Becoming Her” symbolizes the journey of becoming the person you individually desire — the woman you want to step into.

I decided to create this series because I know I’m not the only woman who struggles with these things. There are so many of us who consume endless content about the life we want, who dream and plan, but as time ticks by, we realize… we haven’t made much progress. Or maybe we start, but we fall off.

For me, I noticed that when I wasn’t consistently surrounding myself with motivation or people pursuing similar goals, I’d slip. There’s a whole different level of accountability when you’re in an environment that challenges you to grow.

But surrounding yourself with inspiration doesn’t have to mean overhauling your entire social circle. It can be as simple as changing the music you listen to, the movies you watch, or even redecorating your space.

I once heard a quote — I can’t remember where — that said:
“The same water that softens a potato hardens an egg.”

In other words, your environment can strengthen you or reinforce the version of yourself you’re trying to outgrow.

I realized I wasn’t moving forward when I looked back at old journal entries from 2022 and saw that I was still struggling with the same things. Why? Because I kept slipping back into comfort and forgetting the desires I had for a better life.

And here’s the truth: when you’re not naturally the most disciplined, sometimes the first thing you need to change is your environment.
Ask yourself: What are you absorbing daily?
If you want peace, are you feeding yourself things, even in your diet or your habits, that support calm? Your environment is made up of everything you choose to interact with each day.

This series is for anyone who’s tired of running in circles, tired of complaining about the same things, tired of feeling like they’re falling short or giving up on their goals, or worse, doing nothing about it.

Right now, I’m rereading Soul Detox by Craig Groeschel. (By the way, I love reading — not just the “productive” stuff, but also a good cheesy Inkitt or Wattpad story!) There’s a passage that really stood out to me and inspired this first episode:

“The longer we view ourselves through a distorted lens, the more likely we are to believe a distorted truth. The longer we lie to ourselves, deceive ourselves, or remain in denial about the truth, the more likely we are to base our decisions and actions on this false belief system.”
— Chapter 1, Soul Detox

“If we never identify the lies and replace them with truth, we’ll forever crave a healthy life on a diet of poison — and always wonder why we are sick.”
— Chapter 1, Soul Detox

Groeschel explains this idea using American Idol as an example. Some contestants genuinely believed they were ready to be stars — their belief was unshakable, but their reality didn’t quite match. And yet, what they chose to believe became their truth. They acted like they were ready to take on the world, even when their skills hadn’t caught up yet.

I still find that beautiful — that they had the confidence to try, the courage to show up fully, and put themselves out there. There’s something powerful about daring to believe in yourself, even when you’re still growing. That kind of courage is something we can all learn from, as long as we pair it with honest self-reflection and growth.

I believe we are all capable of so much when we put our minds to it, but I don’t want to “fake it till I make it.” I want to take small, real steps through discomfort to become the woman I strive to be.

If you want to begin trekking toward a better you, you must first self-examine.

I’ll start by sharing something personal:
Recently, I realized that just as the body pulls blood away from the outer limbs when it’s cold to protect the organs, I do that emotionally in life. When I’m stressed or overwhelmed, I start pulling away from the things farthest from me. It’s not healthy, because in trying to survive or protect my pride so no one sees I’m struggling, I end up losing the very connections and things I never meant to let go of.

When we don’t confront the turmoil within us, more and more things around us begin to fall apart.

If you believe in Yahhawah — the Most High, the God of heaven — there’s a beautiful line from Scripture that helps me in moments of worry:
“I am the beginning and the end, the Alpha and the Omega. What more can worrying add to your life?” Rev 22:13, Matthew 6:27

God knows everything and tells us that worrying brings us nothing.

So here’s what I encourage you to do this week:
Write down the mountains you’re facing.
Name them, so you know what tools you need to climb them.

Look honestly at the things within that you’ve been running from — but do it with love.

Instead of saying,
✖ “I hate this about myself,”

try saying,
✔ “I’ve accepted this part of me, and now I have the knowledge of what I can do to become a better version of myself.”

This might be the hardest part: the beginning. Facing discomfort, especially the stuff you’ve been running from, is extremely hard, but on the other side of that is everything you’re looking for. For me, my challenge is that I’m very self-aware, and it can feel overwhelming to begin working on all the things I want to change.

So, for this first week, let’s keep it simple:
Let’s just self-reflect.

You can take this time on your own, or use the reflection questions below.

Here are a few reflection questions:

✨ What are the recurring patterns in my life, and how are they helping or hurting me?
✨ When was the last time I stepped outside my comfort zone, and what did I learn from it?
✨ What personal values do I claim to hold — and where in my daily actions do I fall short of them?
✨ If I met myself as a stranger, what traits would I admire or dislike most?

Let’s be honest with ourselves this week.